🎻 MicroViolin.js 🎻

The World's Smallest Violin, now as a Service™

v1.0.0 ISO 9001 Certified GDPR Compliant Blockchain-Ready AI-Powered Cloud-Native Microservice Architecture

Your Personalized Sympathy Experience™

🤔 What is this?

This service is a vital piece of internet infrastructure designed to provide scale-appropriate empathy for first-world problems.

Is your colleague complaining about "man flu"? Is your friend devastated that their avocado wasn't perfectly ripe? Is someone "literally dying" from a papercut?

Send them to the MicroViolin service. It's the sympathy they deserve.

☕ Coffee Complaints

"My latte has too much foam"

📱 Tech Woes

"My phone is only at 47%"

🍕 Food Tragedies

"My pizza arrived lukewarm"

💼 Work "Stress"

"I have to attend 3 Zoom meetings today"

🌐 How to Use (As a Service)

  1. A person complains about a trivial inconvenience.
  2. You send them a link to this page.
  3. They will be served a random, appropriately-sized violin meme or GIF.
  4. Empathy is (not) guaranteed.
⚠️ Warning: Side effects may include self-awareness, perspective, and a newfound appreciation for actual problems.

💻 How to Use (As a Library)

You can also use MicroViolin.js in your own projects to dynamically display a tiny violin.

Step 1: Include the Script

<script src="MicroViolin.js"></script>

Step 2: Create a Container

<div id="sympathy-container"></div>

Step 3: Show the Violin

<script> // Show a random violin in the 'sympathy-container' div MicroViolin.show('sympathy-container'); </script>

🎵 Bonus: Audio Controls

By default, MicroViolin plays the iconic Sad Trombone sound whenever a console error, warning, or exception occurs. You can toggle this feature:

// Disable sad trombone audio MicroViolin.setAudioEnabled(false); // Enable sad trombone audio MicroViolin.setAudioEnabled(true); // Check if audio is enabled console.log(MicroViolin.isAudioEnabled()); // true or false

🧪 Interactive Demo

Click the button below to show a new random violin, or test the error handling:

📚 API Reference

// Display a violin in a container MicroViolin.show(containerId); // Toggle audio on/off MicroViolin.setAudioEnabled(boolean); // Check audio status MicroViolin.isAudioEnabled(); // Add a custom violin to the collection MicroViolin.addViolin(imageUrl); // Get total violin count MicroViolin.getViolinCount(); // Get version MicroViolin.version;

🤝 Contributing

Got a better, smaller, or more sarcastic violin meme? We'd love to see it!

  1. Fork this repo
  2. Add your meme to the list in MicroViolin.js
  3. Submit a pull request
  4. Bask in the glory of contributing to humanity's most important project
Note: All contributions must be appropriately tiny. We have standards.

🏢 Enterprise Features

Because your organization deserves enterprise-grade sympathy:

*Not actually thread-safe. JavaScript is single-threaded. But it sounds impressive.